Let’s say something terrible happens to someone. Something is inflicted upon them - by an individual, a group, the community whatever.
And they say, “I HATE PEOPLE.”
Do you understand why they might say that? Can you empathize with the need to vent, say something, and, how, in that moment, maybe that’s exactly what they feel and it’s understandable?
What does it say about you and your issues, if you go, “Well you don’t hate ALL people! I’m not like that! It’s not fair for you to hate all people!”
When you do that, you just put your petty insecurity over the fact that something horrible just happened to someone.
People don’t do this, though, because as a society as a whole, we don’t defend, “people”. People could be anyone. The way people are, generally, doesn’t say anything about you.
But god forbid you put a modifier in front of “people” and point out a privileged group and now the hate highlights that this is not, is never, an isolated incident.
Suddenly, people hopping out the woodwork - “Not ALL guys are like that.” ”Not all straight people are like that”, “Not all white people are like that” ”Not all cis people are like that”
You know what? Now you’ve put your insecurity about someone talking about being oppressed, your need to never acknowledge that this goes on and you don’t have to think about it, ABOVE whatever horrible shit just went down.
And you’ve just become exactly what people hate when they talk about that privileged group - you’ve dehumanized and dismissed this person’s suffering to demand that they leave YOU, the UNHARMED PERSON, an emotional out.
The attitude is like someone hitting someone with a car and instead of worrying about the injuries and safety, making priority one demanding the victim acknowledge that it’s NOT YOUR FAULT. The need to be emotionally propped up, and absolved of any hand in a system? Compared to actual violence?
I’ve got some friends, and I know on some days they’re going to be like “I can’t be around men right now” and I gotta go, “Ok” and keep it moving. They’re not mad at me, personally, but it does remind me that I gotta play my part in changing the culture of misogyny and patriarchy…
…not so that my friends are never mad at me, or that they’re always “available” or some bullshit.
BUT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT MY FRIENDS AS FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS.
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