“Girl I love your hair.”
“you so sassy”
“don’t make me snap my fingers in a Z formation.”
“racism doesn’t exist.”
“I have black friends.”
“You don’t look black.”
“Oh no you di’int.”
White people say these things because to them it’s racist that only black people are allowed to say some things. To white people, I am white, so I am not allowed to say those things lest I perpetuate their racism. To some black people, I am black. To everyone else I’m jewish. People of ethnic minority like to say that their identities are always being taken away. Can you stop for a second and think of what it is like to not have one, for your identity to not exist? To be “other” on all surveys that even allow there to be something other than “black,” “Caucasian,” “Asian?” Can you imagine your race not being an option? My identity isn’t even an option. It doesn’t exist. How am I supposed to feel?
Based on my heredity I lack identity.
Other minorities try to tell me that I haven’t had the experiences they’ve had. And I haven’t. But I haven’t had a white experience, either. I may pass, but I know that I’m just passing. I have never been able to say that I’m white. Never. In psychological identity studies, multiracial isn’t even studied. There aren’t big enough sample sizes to determine the mental effect of not being an option.
I spoke up in my psych class the other day. We were talking about centralism, private regard, and public regard in reference to ethnic identity. I asked the professor what is shown when private and public regard don’t match? She said that rarely happens. I said that as a multiracial person, my private and public regard are generally in disagreement.
Other minorities think I’m just a white girl. They think I’m another white girl taking away their identity, but they don’t even know that they have ignored and denied me one.